“I can’t live without her . . .”

“Things just weren’t working out . . .”

“I thought he was the one for me . . .

Sound familiar? It should. Any one who has come upto college level—and sometimes even at the lower levels — have either heard or spoken these lines. Yup! You’ve guessed it! Young Love . . . How sweet it sounds . . . . . . Totally camouflages the reality though!

Plenty of reasons have been cited as the cause for the teenage (often tragic) love sagas that exist and continue to exist. But the most popularly blamed cause is “young people’s obsessions with the movies and the west!”—As I once heard an old grandmother exclaim.

It’s an unfair accusation actually. Sure, movies portray the bliss of love, and dating as you choose is certainly encouraged in the west. But the problem here is that Indians only know HALF the information that they should know. And that’s not only insignificant, but also dangerous.

For instance, dating doesn’t only refer to a romantic rendezvous between a girl and a boy. It’s just deciding a date for any kind of meeting—romantic and otherwise. (Hence the term DATE-ing.)

Also, there’s this automatic belief that once you fall in love, you should never fall out of it. Very true! Love is forever! . . . But one question . . . What is love exactly?

We see a guy/girl, start admiring and liking him/her, begin to enjoy his/her company so much that we wind up feeling you can’t stay without him/her, and then finally confess our feelings. In six out of ten instances, the person we care about will reciprocate our feelings and agree. (And we will silently yell, “Hallelujah! O glorious day!” at that moment.) But strangely, in three out of those six instances, he/she had probably never felt anything like that until the moment we approached him/her!

Now here is where the newly formed couple decides to follow the (God-knows-who-decided) “Rules of love”, so as to prove their love. There are basically five rules that are the most predominant:

Rule 1: “Always be beside the person you love.”

Sweet . . . True . . . And taken far too literally!!!

Everyone knows that it means we should always be strong and support the person we love . . . Never make him/her feel alone or unwanted. But do we have to literally stick to that person every moment of the day??!! It’s surprising no one ever blurted it out in frustration! Aren’t lovers supposed to share their feelings? Surely they could mention, “Excuse me. I do care about you. But I’d like to have some space to breathe!”

Rule 2: “Love is greater than friendship.”

So NOT true! One relationship cannot be compared to or sacrificed for another! Why on earth would that be proving one’s love??!! It actually shows how unreliable that person is! Imagine dumping a friend of so many years for a lover of a few months. And the excuse is, “I need to spend more time with him/her. Sorry.” Save the apologies. You’re a jerk.

If our lover tries to get rid of our friends, or we do it to him/her, then how can anyone call that love? Better end the relationship right there. And if friendship is voluntarily abandoned, the other person better take the hint and end the courting session. Who says he/she won’t treat or dump their lover in the same way?

Rule 3: “Love requires compromise, adjustment and sacrifice.

This is true as in any other relationship. But it can get ugly when it is only one-sided, or practiced too often that the relationship becomes a burden. Love is supposed to strengthen and support, not make one feel like an over-used doormat! Sacrificing one happiness for another is just as superficial as giving up one relationship for another. Love requires only sacrifices that you don’t even realise are sacrifices. And if one finds that they are compromising and adjusting so much that it empties them, it’s simply not going to work out.

Rule 4: “Love is everything.”

Hardly! Love is certainly the nectar that sweetens and spicens up life. But it isn’t everything. Love is a foundation. and one has to build on it. Love is most definitely powerful! But Love alone just isn’t enough. It’s the truth, no matter how unromantic it sounds!

And finally, Rule 5: “Love is constant and forever.

No argument there. But one should follow this rule only when one is actually in love.

It has kind of become a new cool trend to look for a boyfriend or girlfriend and proclaim one’s undying love for that person. But the thing is, even a crush or simple admiration for a person is perceived as love. And the relationship is taken so seriously that even when it’s obvious it’s not gonna work out, the “lovely couple” still sticks to it and makes life hell for themselves. Love should be enjoyed, not worked! And if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. It might be hard to break up, but it’s better parting on neutral or even sad terms, rather than exploding on bitter terms.

Like mentioned before, half-knowledge is worthless and dangerous. Even if one doesn’t use the complete knowledge of something, he/she should atleast know it completely.

In other words, see things with both eyes, even if you choose what you speak with one mouth.

Kitty Neeva